We act in ways that keep us from getting what we want. We don’t know where to start in terms of responding to or initiating a crucial conversation, so we just plunge in. Crucial conversations often catch us by surprise - we have a knee-jerk reaction and later end up wondering, what was I thinking? When under stress, we get an adrenaline surge and blood is diverted from the brain to muscles so that our thinking ability suffers. We typically fail at these conversations because: We may withdraw, or rage and say things we later regret. We behave our worst at the most critical moments. And in fact, when we do have crucial conversations, we usually handle them badly. We often try to avoid having these conversations because we’re afraid we’ll make matters worse. Examples include: ending a relationship, asking a roommate to move out, resolving an issue with an ex-spouse, confronting a coworker about his/her behavior, or giving the boss critical feedback. These conversations can have a huge impact on your life. Crucial conversations are often typical daily interactions as opposed to planned, high-level meetings. Organizational performance and the quality of relationships improve significantly when people learn the skills to handle these crucial conversations effectively.Ī crucial conversation is a discussion characterized by high stakes, differing opinions, and strong emotions. In Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High, authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler argue that many problems are caused by how people behave when they disagree with others about high-stakes, emotional issues. When you learn to handle crucial conversations effectively, the quality of your relationships and your effectiveness in your career will improve dramatically, and you’ll be able to help get everybody what they want.ġ-Page Summary 1-Page Book Summary of Crucial Conversations After this book, you’ll be able to talk to anyone about virtually any topic, no matter how sensitive. Moreover, we often deliberately avoid having these conversations because we’re afraid we’ll make matters worse.Ĭrucial Conversations teaches you an array of dialogue principles and practical skills, explained and demonstrated through numerous examples. When this happens, little progress is made, and resentment builds. These stressful conversations can rapidly go awry, with people behaving at their worst - yelling at each other and sniping sarcastically, or on the other side going silent and withdrawing. Poorly handling crucial conversations - discussions with high stakes, different opinions, and strong emotions - is the cause of many of our most painful problems in work and home life. Book Rating by Shortform Readers: 4.6 ( 122 reviews)
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